Anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder or has helped someone in their recovery process can appreciate how complex, unique and different every experience can be. Reading personal essays and stories is a great way to understand what others have gone through and what they have learned. Our blog, In Their Own Words, is a forum for people to share their insights, experiences, and, importantly, to let you know that YOU are not alone
Penny – Facing the Truth
Facing the truth….
I have kept this quote for weeks, because I want it to be wrong.
I want it to be a quote that I immediately delete, and yet it sits here.
I am finding the days harder, and the nights unbearable.
The peace in my heart that was so dominant, has turned to turmoil.
Although I am not isolating myself in public, I am isolating in my heart and soul.
I feel inadequate, and ugly. Every time I step forward, something pulls me back, and I want to scream.
I was home today..not feeling great physically, and I found the hot tears flowing..when they are hot, that means they are built up.
I shed tears for me, you, your family and the extended family.
I cried at every animal post and I sympathized with every sappy quote I read.
I am slipping back to darkness, and I see it, I feel it happening.
Losing weight, feeling bones, feeling tired, frustrated and discouraged.
I know the signs.
I so disappointed with myself, but encouraged to get through this.
Food is medicine. Wine is not dinner. Being healthy is good. Empowering. Keep people that hurt you blocked and deleted. Be thankful.
More warm tears tonight, I know I have the tools, and I need to get back to me.
If I don’t…I won’t be here and that’s not an option.
Mental illness is a slippery slope, but I want to win.
The Only Way Out is Through 🖤🖤🖤